"Star Wars: The Force Awakens" Is Bantha Poodoo
For the first ten minutes of J.J. Abrams’ “The Force Awakens” – ten beautiful, perfect minutes – it seems as though “Star Wars” may finally be back.
First, the opening crawl.
Inveterate Jedi Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) has gone missing. His sister Leia (Carrie Fisher), now a General, leads the Resistance against the First Order, an offshoot of the long-defunct Empire.
At once, in grand “Star Wars” tradition, we’re dropped into the middle of a small story with obviously big implications. Abrams and co-screenwriters Lawrence Kasdan and Michael Arndt thus begin their long, slow zoom out.
Resistance X-wing pilot Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac, Llewyn Davis himself!) is on the Tatooine-like planet of Jakku to secure a map of Luke’s whereabouts. But when he’s confronted by murderous, Vader-worshipping, would-be Sith Lord Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) and a mass of Stormtroopers, Dameron is left with no choice but to jettison said map by means of his cute astromech droid, BB-8.
These are all welcome, deliberate echoes of the original “Star Wars,” re-establishing George Lucas’ initial vision for the series: a vast, never-ending space opera that exists somewhere between the screen and our imaginations.
But time ticks by without a trace of Luke or Leia (the first of whom appears 80 minutes in) and Dameron vanishes, leaving us with two brand new characters played by virtual newcomers to carry the weight of the first “Star Wars” sequel in thirty-two years. Given the screenplay’s thinly drawn dramatis personae and sawed-off story – not to mention impossible expectations – they don’t stand a chance.
The introduction of Finn (John Boyega) is the movie’s first sign of trouble. His transition from reluctant Stormtrooper to deserter to hero is completed in a five-minute stretch, as banally convenient as anything Abrams has ever done (including his “Star Trek Into Darkness” villain reveal). Moreover, Boyega’s performance is a sizable step back from his debut in 2011 sci-fi actioner “Attack The Block.”
With so little characterization to chew on, the British actor is forced to play things broadly: ever wide-eyed and panicky, searching for an epiphany (or at least a laugh) in every line of dialogue. Apart from better writing, the part begs for someone with more depth and comedic experience (like, say Donald Glover), but Boyega’s struggles aren’t his alone.
Complete newbie Daisy Ridley fares similarly as Rey, a young Jakku junk collector with a mysterious connection to the Force. It’s invigorating to see a “Star Wars” heroine who doesn’t need to be rescued or don a metal bikini, but the script hammers home the point with such obviousness as to siphon out all impact. Equally problematic is her penchant for possessing whatever skill the screenplay calls for at any given moment. Rey’s late-game, out-of-the-blue lightsaber skill set is a prime offender.
73-year-old Harrison Ford returns as swashbuckling smuggler Han Solo, getting significantly more screentime than Luke and Leia combined. It should be a highlight, but the actor seems as plainly uninterested as ever, with the character reduced to comic relief, nearly tangential to the plot. Han’s reintroduction (with Chewbacca in tow, of course) comes off like a “Saturday Night Live” digital short and his ultimate fate is the worst thing to happen to the series. Ever.
Not only do Abrams, Kasdan, and Arndt unwisely reprise the original trilogy’s father-son plot device (it turns out that Kylo Ren was born Ben Solo, son of Han and Leia, grandson of Vader), but they kill Han off at the hands of his angsty, noxious offspring. The duo’s eventual “Dad, you don’t understand me!” moment that represents the movie’s climax (Ren might as well be wearing a dog collar and a Misfits graphic tee) is plainly a result of Ford not wanting to keep playing the character. Fair enough, but it didn’t have to be like this.
What’s more than the cruelty and unusualness of making us watch Chewie watch his best friend die, the joy of imagining Han Solo speeding off to more adventures and eventually soaring off into the sunset dies with him. It’s a death that has absolutely nothing to do with the original trilogy’s version of the character and everything to do with the cold, calculated storytelling that nearly swallows up “The Force Awakens” – a constant drone of characters looking for other characters, all the while swapping the original trilogy’s sense of happy coincidence for expediency in franchise building.
Case in point: Luke’s lightsaber becomes a focal point of Rey’s search for him, and when it’s located in the basement of a Mos Eisley Cantina-esque bar, the tavern’s owner (an uninspired CGI lump played and voiced by Oscar-winner Lupita Nyong’o) is asked why it’s there. “A good question… for another time!” she answers.
It’s a rancid piece of dialogue that shines a harsh light on Abrams’ “mystery box” brand of plotting: trinkets in lieu of layered storytelling, smoke and mirrors on top of smoke and mirrors.
Moreover, the picture’s interpolations of the original trilogy are frequently the wrong ones. “Star Wars” and “The Empire Strikes Back” remain nearly perfect movies, but they’re more than perfect; they’re inclusive. Inclusive to characters and viewers alike, requiring no outside knowledge; only a taste for adventure.
“The Force Awakens” lives and mostly dies by references to movies past, much like Lucas’ prequels did, but here that conceit is exacted. Abrams assumes that each viewer is already deeply invested in the universe at hand but then goes out of his way to contradict its past at every turn, from disregarding the original trilogy’s explanation of the Force to some garish stylistic choices. The movie ends with an aerial helicopter shot, for God’s sake.
It’s an unconscionably directed scene that caps off the film’s use of Luke Skywalker as a prop to set up the next episode, a neat bow on all the other promises it fails to deliver on: not overdoing the computer generated effects (they’re everywhere), not rehashing old plot points for the third or fourth time (the weapon at the story’s center is nothing more than an oversized Death Star), and returning the personality that the prequels were missing (it’s all Force-choked out by the clunky scripting).
The cast mostly tries their best (God bless Boyega and Ridley for being so invested), but the screenplay is a heavy weight around their necks, leaving all but Isaac drooping. It hits all of its telegraphed beats, sets up the next movie, and gets the hell out of town without adding anything at all to the “Star Wars” mystique. The creatures are more evocative of “Men In Black II” than “Return Of The Jedi.” The string-pulling, behind-the-scenes villain (played by Andy Serkis) is an unimaginative computer-generated monstrosity. And the lightsaber battles serve the same function in the film as they did in the trailers: to look good.
Legions of “Star Wars” fans have been through so much that they won’t allow themselves to be disappointed again. Fair enough. But “The Force Awakens” cares for them only as far as their pocketbook. It’s fan fiction writ large, making it clearer than ever that – for better or worse – George Lucas is “Star Wars.” With his voice gone, all that’s left are tinny reverberations of movie history.
Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
-J. Olson
Rating: ★★ out of ★★★★★ (Not So Good)
Release Date: December 18, 2015
Studio: Lucasfilm, Walt Disney Pictures
Director: J.J. Abrams
Screenwriter: J.J. Abrams, Lawrence Kasdan, Michael Arndt
Starring: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Peter Mayhew, Lupita Nyong’o, Domhnall Gleeson, Gwendoline Christie, Max Von Sydow, Andy Serkis, Mark Hamill, Kenny Baker, Anthony Daniels
MPAA Rating: PG-13 (for sci-fi action violence)
Couldn’t agree more, I thought it was nowhere near as good as ANY previous version. Even that annoying one with Jar-Jar in it was better.
So just in case I was wrong I went to see it a second time, that just confirmed it – it was rubbish.
I finally saw it last night. As Jar Jar Abrams was the force behind this one (ha ha), my expectations were considerably low — and he managed to lower them further still. A $250 million pile of celluloid meh.
Very disappointed with the movie. The storyline never seemed to get going. The two main characters Rey & Finn just didn’t grab my attention enough. Poorly written script and story-line in my opinion. For instance, when Han Solo was killed Chewbacca barely batted an eyelid!! I wanted to be taken back to Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back & Return of the Jedi days but unfortunately for me this movie didn’t do it.
99% of people who’ve watched it thought it was brilliant like myself. Stop killing it with your over analysis, sit back and just soak it in!!
Ninety-nine per cent of the movie-going public can be, and often is, wrong.
You may have enjoyed it; that doesn’t mean it isn’t garbage.
This was the first SW that, despite having no overt boring political stuff, still managed to be boring.
It was the storytelling equivalent of artificial flavorings.
The only possible way someone could embrace this galactic turd would be by being utterly indiscriminate. There are plenty of movies that made respectable money in their day and were largely forgotten. As always, TIME will tell if this film has any legs to stand on instead of the hype that briefly kept it afloat.
Sucked! Fire JJ Abrams, and hire James Cameron
Avatar was not that good (in my eyes), took ’em 10 years to come out with another movie and it appealed to one group.
Thank you for noting “Rey’s out-of-the-blue lightsaber skills.” Luke Skywalker’s catastrophic defeat by Darth Vader in The Empire Strikes Back is the explicit result of his failure to complete the arduous training regimen with which Yoda was preparing him for what lay ahead. Terrible writer though he may be, George Lucas understood and respected the importance of this lesson for young people, whereas Abrams does not.
Each of the young good guys in this movie inexplicably knows how to repair the mechanicals, how to operate the blaster, how to fly the space ship, without any previous training or effort. That’s a lousy and irresponsible message for young people and, yes, these are kids movies.
“George Lucas is “Star Wars.” With his voice gone, all that’s left are tinny reverberations of movie history.”
The same George Lucas that did one great trilogy and one not good (If you believe the complainers, like yourself)? There wouldn’t be any more Star Wars movies ever if it was left to George Lucas. A lot of the things he gets credited with, both good and bad, are not as true as gets widely stated by the haters/complainers. But I think it’s fair to say that Star Wars in general is a big movie history highlight for a lot of us. So I’m glad the mantle’s been taken up and there’ll be (a lot) more movies coming out at a far greater rate.
On that point. For all the complaining about character and plot depth. About getting deep into Star Wars lore and explaining everything that’s been happening during our long wait. I ask you this. Where’s the rush? It’s not like we’re going to be forced (;) to wait endlessly. They’re planning to do origin stories, fill in the gaps movies, as well as doing new trilogies. They can disseminate all the information you so desperately want over time. No need to slow the movies down or force (;) themselves down narrow story paths. The potential is there for different types of movie in the Star Wars universe and much longer linear tales.
Ultimately I think a lot of the criticisms of this movie (as a stand alone) are true. But be fair, it couldn’t be all things to all men (and kids). I loved it as a kid and want to see the new movies. My dad wasn’t a kid and couldn’t give a toss about the old or new films. But the new start they’re giving, means making it for kids now and having it grow from here. I think that’s right and I’m glad a new generation are being included and they’re not being made as niche movies for old boys like us that aren’t kids any more. Also being for kids (as it always was) means more budget to do lots of movies.
It was a pretty good action movie set in the Star Wars universe. I think your use of the term belaboured is completely inappropriate and if it does only one thing, it does rock along at pace and didn’t seem like a 2 hour 15 minute movie to me. Yes, the pace means there’s little plot or character development by exposition. That has to be true. But in the same breath, yourself and many others claim it’s a copy of Star Wars, yet it directly contrasts with the slow build up, cracking story of the original. I don’t think you can have it both ways. If you and your like are done with Star Wars and won’t go again? Fine by me. At least I don’t have to read your butt-hurt reviews of future movies.
Also. And to me this is the big one that all the complainers seem to miss IMO. Any new Star Wars movies from here are going lack one huge thing and there’s nothing they could do about it. Despite all the claims by the complainers. You said the originals were all about George Lucas. Nope! They were all about Darth Vader. They start when he’s very young and end when he dies. Darth Vader is one of, if not, the greatest character of all time and that story’s been told. So the new films will suffer from never being able to reach that high point no matter what they do. Not having that completely awesome evil point of reference as a counterpoint to all other thing happening. But the sheer vastness of a Star Wars universe means that I for one don’t just want it to end there, but I do accept there can’t be another Darth Vader or another original trilogy for that matter.
I think this is a fair review of TFA. I’ve got no problem with the film being an unashamed, cynical reboot, it’s just not a very good film.
All of you that are hating on the movie obviously are very biased towards the Star Wars movies. You dislike the entire thing. Which in all of your statements is making you look like a spoiled brat that is just plain salty that you couldn’t ever do anything better in life than hate on movies. The Star Wars movie had great effects and a solid plot. This movie was inspired off of the 7th that George Lucas wrote (and never planned to release). You all here need to look at the movie in a broader perspective instead of looking through a broken, mangled keyhole that you are. If you didn’t like the movie, that’s fine with me, but just reading the first two paragraphs of this article it was clear to me that this guy has little to no experience with reviewing broadly (aka looking through the keyhole at every movie that isn’t his genre).
I’m here a bit late, but I have to show my support. No idea where all these positive reviews of the movie are coming from.
Some parts from the prequels were bad but at least they were still star wars, that’s the thing.
The part of your review that resonates with me the most is where you say Abrams assumes we all know the star wars lore but he does his best to contradict it at every turn. So annoying!!
The whole thing with Rey just knowing everything always was the next most annoying part. Especially when she uses her force powers to mind control the guy completely out of the blue. (you know, something it took Luke 3 movies to learn) whatever.
Thanks for having the guts to call this one out.
BWAHHAA, you did not even see it until the home release, BWAHAHAHAHH. What kind of reviewer are you?
Oh.. sorry, thought you were one. Seems hipster is more apt… love some of the replies mates posted to support you. Cute.
Your review gets 2/10
I`m not sure how this dull copy of a new hope managed to get so many positive reviews… It was a comical rehashed version… a few laughs but oh so dull in its story telling. Guess nothing will beat the originals but I was hopeful this one would be it.
Classic mob-mentality attacking the messenger rather than the message.
Thank you. Pretty much exactly my feelings for the movie.
While I understand how the the general public (non SW fans) can feel good about this film – I can’t agree. It is basically a well made movie if you don’t know allot of the pre existing universe. That would be most people, so they like it.
Can’t think of anything that J Olson said in the review that I disagree with. The film is so unoriginal and uncreative with too many winks to the past movies and in-jokes as to be boring. I can only guess they did this to try and cover up the complete disrespect with which they actually treated the previous movies and characters. Whether its wheeling in the old cast as if they were cardboard cut-out parts of the set – there to make it seem inclusive of the whole SW universe. They, apart from Luke had no relevance to the plot. Or the corrupting of SW lore via Rey’s ridiculous untrained Force powers. The only feasible story-arch for her from here is to become master of the universe or turn bad. The latter won’t happen because she’s female.
This move was supposed to be a sequel; part 7. It failed to be anything like one. No continuation or growth for the original cast, just tossed aside. Not even a continuation of the SW universe due to the apparent remastering of it – turning the function of a fundamental part of it, The Force, on its head. Again treating the past with disrespect.
If you are SW fan, familiar with the universe and consider this a good SW movie that fits in with the previous six, then I’d have to say you’re so blinkered that you are a now officially a cult member. I can see why you might like it, but it ain’t good.
Enough rambling. My concise review. Pastiche.
*Original Lucas StarWars =KETTLE CHIPS
**Prequels GeorgeLucas SW =Low Salt/Fat CHIPS
*** Sequel DISNEY StarWars TheForceAwakens = OLESTRA Low cal #PotatoChips – ergo faux food with no substance the looks great on paper and eating but you have diarrhea from the indigestible crap as you keep trying to absorb it
Great review, good sir. As a big Star Wars fan, this movie was mediocre at best, and if held to the lofty standards of its Star Wars predecessors, it’s just short of pure garbage. It was extremely forced, idiotic, and predictable. It lacked any semblance of creativity, good writing, or quality acting. Thanks for your honesty. And like many others have noted, I am absolutely shocked at the vast number of positive reviews it’s received. I guess it’s just a (sad) reflection of the state of our movie-going populous.
““Star Wars” and “The Empire Strikes Back” remain nearly perfect movies,”
And there goes all the credibility you may have had. Have you ever watched ANH, I mean actually watched it with the same critical eye you’ve just taken to VII?
Obviously not because then you would know that it is a very ropy piece of film making saved by a godly last half-hour.
If you want to play the comparison game then there’s more wrong with a ANH than TFA it just deliverers a greater high point.
In addition (this is a bit of a personal bugbear of mine) it would be great if reviewers and commenters alike stopped grandstanding about lightsabre proficiency when it’s painfully obvious that they know next to nothing about actually fencing.
If you did you’d probably be aware that beating people to within an inch of their lives for with a staff for most of your teenage years is a rather nice base to build sword skills from.
But don’t take it from me, take it from historical martial arts instructor Matt Easton.
Your review is golden! Congratulations!
I went from being very excited to see this movie to painfully disappointed that I pissed more than $20 buying this movie on DVD. The movie tried to be everything from action to science fiction to drama to comedy and it became corny & predictable as a result. I knew Hans Solo would be killed & how before it happened. That was probably the corniest & most predictable scene in any movie I have ever seen. The original Star Wars movie was a great movie for its time, but this movie was a horrible movie for its time and it would have sucked in the 80’s too.
Mr. Olson, you have no idea how much your writing means to me. I am a 14 year-old film lover who absolutely loves reading your reviews and seeing your insight. Your reviews for this incredibly tepid and uninspired disappointment and Rogue One are, in my humble opinion, the finest examples of a film review to be found these days. You are my personal favorite film critic. Keep it up, good sir.
Thanks, Connor. That means a lot.
Yep, it was compete and utter garbage from start to finish. Just a really sloppy remake of A New Hope but with plot holes the side of the Death Star. You could see the look on Harrison Ford’s face that said “get me the hell out of this franchise and as quickly as possible.” J.J. Abrams should never be let loose on another movie script and the casting was questionable at best. Daisy Ridley and John Boyega are amateurs lacking in any sort of charisma who were given precisely zero to work with. A proper mess of a film. Awful.
Sat through it with my brother. We were originally excited and were of course disappointed.
It was really just a completely predictable and thus boring remake of the Episode IV.
A lot of people are disappointed in the Rey character, but for me the most inexplicable character was Kylo Ren. I just didn’t get this character or his supposed ‘inner struggle,’ I didn’t get his killing of Han (Harrison Ford, as you point out, looked completely bored throughout).
As others have said, I just don’t know where the positive reviews for this are coming from. Seeing the positive reviews for TFA makes me very suspicious of the positive reviews now coming out for The Last Jedi.
I agree with Mr. Olson on this movie. It was terrible as it was a rehash of the A New Hope with very few new things to offer other than a handful characters of which none of them receive a very good explanation. I can’t understand why there are so many good reviews out there for this movie. I had to actually search for a negative review but I guess its just pure nostalgia. People wanted another Star Wars so bad, Disney could’ve given them an uninspired rehash of the original that they wouldn’t have cared because they got to see Han, Leia and Luke again and that’s exactly what happened with this movie. It just adds itself to Hollywood’s continually growing list of terrible reboots and sequels.
I agree with the original with Mr. olson’s perfect review of this wretched movie..I can’t add anything to this except that the only bright spot was “Rogue one” which brought us some great new characters (the monk) and then proceeded to kill them all off…Lucas is clueless.